{"id":16622,"date":"2018-12-05T18:43:36","date_gmt":"2018-12-05T15:43:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gunestan.com\/?p=16622"},"modified":"2018-12-05T18:43:36","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T15:43:36","slug":"krizleri-artik-hastalik-olarak-kabul-edip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gunestan.com\/geri-bildirimler\/krizleri-artik-hastalik-olarak-kabul-edip\/","title":{"rendered":"Krizleri Art\u0131k Hastal\u0131k Olarak Kabul Edip&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131m\u2019dan \u00f6nce;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ben :<\/strong> \u201cAnne bug\u00fcn Emine\u2019ye kahvalt\u0131ya gidece\u011fim. Haberin olsun.\u201d<br \/>\n<strong>Annem :<\/strong> \u201dGit, ne halin varsa g\u00f6r. B\u0131kmad\u0131n o sinsiden, di mi? Git de kullans\u0131n seni\u2026\u2026..\u201d <\/p>\n<p>Ard\u0131ndan b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kavgaya ba\u015flar\u0131z annemle.. Ben, bana kar\u0131\u015famayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, benim kendi iradem, zekam ,akl\u0131m, vs. oldu\u011funu ve kendimi kulland\u0131rtmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ispatlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m.. O da benim k\u00f6t\u00fc evlat oldu\u011fumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek laflar\u0131yla can\u0131m\u0131 ac\u0131tarak beni yola getirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r da asl\u0131nda biz b\u00f6yle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcz. Yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir hamster\u0131n \u00e7emberinde d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi bizde hakl\u0131 olma \u00e7emberinde d\u00f6neriz ve zeytinya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n suya kar\u015f\u0131 kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 zafer gibi bizde kendi aram\u0131zdaki suyun  \u00fczerine \u00e7\u0131karak hakl\u0131 zaferimizi elde etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131z.. <\/p>\n<p>Bu m\u00fcthi\u015f m\u00fccedele de genellikle kaybeden ben olurum; a\u011flayan, ba\u011f\u0131ran hatta kriz ge\u00e7irmeye kadar giden ben olurum.. Nedense annem o suyun y\u00fczeyinde kalmay\u0131 \u00e7ok iyi becerir.. Bense sanki derinlerde bir halt varm\u0131\u015f gibi oralara inerim, anemide \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m ama O gelmez. Gelmemek icinde sanki bir bant kayd\u0131ym\u0131\u015f gibi o y\u00fczeysel klasik c\u00fcmlelerini s\u0131ralar.. En sonunda benim derinlere inip \u00e7\u0131kamamam\u0131n feryatlar\u0131yla kavga biter.. Annem \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcr ama g\u00fcn\u00fcne bir \u015fekilde devam eder.. Bense zorlan\u0131r\u0131m g\u00fcndeki kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m yeri bulmak icin ki devam edeyim g\u00fcn\u00fcme..<\/p>\n<p>Di\u011fer aile \u00fcyelerimle de ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde kavga ederim ve sonu\u00e7ta hep kaybeden ben olurum.. Ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funu kaplayan bu kavgalar annemim tart\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131m\u0131zda kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 bant kayd\u0131 gibiydi.. Ve bu kavgalar\u0131n temeli hakl\u0131 olma zaferine dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131 icin bitmek bilmiyordu.. Okudu\u011fum kitaplar da bu \u00e7emberden, k\u0131s\u0131r d\u00f6ng\u00fcnden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131; hakl\u0131 olma m\u00fccadelesinin s\u00fcregeldi\u011fi yolun kap\u0131s\u0131 de\u011fil; mutlululu\u011fun, sonsuz kabulleni\u015fin oldu\u011fu yolun kap\u0131s\u0131ym\u0131\u015f.. <\/p>\n<p>G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131m\u2019dan \u00f6nce tek ba\u015f\u0131mayken, meditasyonlar\u0131mda, ailemle iyi oldu\u011fum zamanlarda defalarca mutluluk ve kabulleni\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne geldim.. Girdim de iceri.. Fakat her defas\u0131nda sadece saniyelerim orda gecti.. Annem geldi, bir\u015feyime kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131.. Babam geldi, beni a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lad\u0131, tersledi.. Ablamlardan bir\u015fey istedim, yapmad\u0131lar. Karde\u015fim yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m hi\u00e7 bir \u015feyi be\u011fenmedi.. Ard\u0131ndan bakt\u0131m ki, elimde hakl\u0131l\u0131k bayra\u011f\u0131 sanki Everest\u2019in tepesine dikecekmi\u015fim gibi kasm\u0131\u015f\u0131m kendimi aralar\u0131nda hakl\u0131 olma m\u00fccadelesi veriyorum.. Sonra tahmin edersiniz; bezmi\u015flik, depresyon ve hastal\u0131klar.. U\u011fra\u015f dur\u2026 Bitmek bilmez k\u0131s\u0131rd\u00f6ng\u00fc\u2026 Hayat\u0131m\u0131n %70\u2019inde ko\u015ftu\u011fum o hakl\u0131 olma \u00e7emberimden yazd\u0131m size bunlar\u0131..<\/p>\n<p><strong>G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131m\u2019dan sonra;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Babam :<\/strong> \u201dOooo \u015eeng\u00fcl\u00fcm (Son zamanlarda babam beni  b\u00f6yle \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor ama sadece aram\u0131z iyi oldu\u011funda) \u00f6zlemi\u015fim seni yavrum yaa..\u201d<br \/>\n<strong>Babam :<\/strong> \u201dGidin k\u0131z\u0131m, e\u011flenin tabi.\u201d<br \/>\n<strong>Babam :<\/strong> \u201dOoo \u015eeng\u00fcl\u00fcm ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 boyam\u0131\u015f, kahvalt\u0131m\u0131 haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f.. Can\u0131m k\u0131z\u0131m bana iyi bak\u0131yor..\u201d (Bunlar\u0131 hayat\u0131m boyunca \u00f6nceden  hic yapmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m..)<br \/>\n<strong>Annem :<\/strong> \u201dEmineye mi gidiyosun? Tamam kendine dikkat et yolda..\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ard\u0131ndan annemle yada kiminleysem onunla otururuz, konu\u015furuz..<br \/>\nHakl\u0131l\u0131k \u00e7emberinde art\u0131k \u00e7ok daha az vaktim gecmekte.. O kavgalar, tart\u0131\u015fmalar tam anlam\u0131yla bitti diyemem.. Yine arada tart\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz ama \u015fimdi o tart\u0131\u015fmalara bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m bak\u0131\u015f ac\u0131s\u0131 baya\u011f\u0131 bir de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015f durumda.. Bundan dolay\u0131 da tart\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n \u015fiddeti \u00f6yle g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmuyor.. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc tart\u0131\u015fma an\u0131nda icimdeki bir karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve o karanl\u0131k yan\u0131m\u0131 a\u015fmam icin ya da sadece bilmem icin bu tart\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n fark\u0131nda oluyorum..<\/p>\n<p>E\u011fer b\u00fcy\u00fck bir tart\u0131\u015fma ya\u015farsamda ki ya\u015fad\u0131m babamla.. O eski \u00e7emberime, en karanl\u0131k, kuytu derinlerime gittim.. Ve orda kendimi kaybedip o eski krizlerimden birini gecirdim.. Bu krizde \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fclmeme, \u00e7ok ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmeme, \u00e7ok a\u011flamama ra\u011fmen bir fark vard\u0131, G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131m\u2019dan \u00f6ncekiyle sonraki bende.. O da bu krizleri art\u0131k hastal\u0131k olarak kabul edip herkese bu \u015fekilde yans\u0131tmamd\u0131.. Bu \u015fekilde yans\u0131tmamdan dolay\u0131 kendimi suclamad\u0131m, yarg\u0131lamad\u0131m.. Bu da krizin \u015fiddetini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc.. Ki bir fark daha vard\u0131; o da babamda.. \u00d6nceki zamanlarda babam bu krizleri bast\u0131rmam icin ya da kesmem icin hem \u00fczerime gelirdi, hatta y\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc, hem de yard\u0131m almama izin vermezdi.. \u015eimdi de ise kendisi \u00f6nerdi yard\u0131m almam\u0131..<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131mla son cal\u0131\u015fmam\u0131zda bu krizi inceledik.. \u015eimdi biliyorum ki o kriz asl\u0131nda icimdeki en derinleri, en karanl\u0131klar\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131kartm\u0131\u015f\u2026 Normalde g\u00f6rmedi\u011fim, bilmedi\u011fim ve hatta belki de ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m o eskilere, bilin\u00e7alt\u0131ma gittik, bu kriz sayesinde.. Kriz bu sefer bir t\u00fcr \u00e7emberden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131 oldu benim icin.. (Bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131mdaki 80 derecelik geni\u015fleme sonucu;)<\/p>\n<p>E\u011fer beni tan\u0131m\u0131\u015f olsayd\u0131n\u0131z G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131m\u2019dan \u00f6nce, ve \u015fimdi de beni g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f olsayd\u0131n\u0131z; o 7 fark\u0131 bulun bulmacalar\u0131ndakinden \u00e7ok \u00e7ok daha kolay bir \u015fekilde bendeki farklar\u0131 bulurdunuz\u2026 \u015eimdilik bu farklar sadece bende, ama terapilere devam ettik\u00e7e t\u00fcm ya\u015fam\u0131m ba\u015ftan yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olacak.. Bu cal\u0131\u015fmalarla sanki ben bir binaym\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi temellerim tamir ediliyor.. O do\u011fru d\u00fczg\u00fcn ayakta duramayan, yan\u0131ndaki binalara kendini dayam\u0131\u015f, her an y\u0131k\u0131lacakm\u0131\u015f gibi duran in\u015faat\u0131m temelden sa\u011flamla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yor, iyile\u015ftiriliyor.. Bu da demek oluyor ki ilerde sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131, huzurlu, mutlu beni bar\u0131nd\u0131ran bir binam ve ya\u015fam\u0131m olacak, farklar artt\u0131k\u00e7a artacak, \u00e7emberlerim a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p spirale d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fecek ve ben spiralde bu g\u00fczel oyuna devam edece\u011fim&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Yaz\u0131m\u0131 ac\u0131lan \u00e7emberimin \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131ndan yazd\u0131m..<\/p>\n<p>Sevgiler \u015eeng\u00fcl <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131m\u2019dan \u00f6nce; Ben : \u201cAnne bug\u00fcn Emine\u2019ye kahvalt\u0131ya gidece\u011fim. Haberin olsun.\u201d Annem : \u201dGit, ne halin varsa g\u00f6r. B\u0131kmad\u0131n o sinsiden, di mi? Git de kullans\u0131n seni\u2026\u2026..\u201d Ard\u0131ndan b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kavgaya ba\u015flar\u0131z annemle.. Ben, bana kar\u0131\u015famayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, benim kendi iradem, zekam ,akl\u0131m, vs. oldu\u011funu ve kendimi kulland\u0131rtmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ispatlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m.. O da benim k\u00f6t\u00fc evlat oldu\u011fumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek laflar\u0131yla can\u0131m\u0131 ac\u0131tarak beni yola getirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r da asl\u0131nda biz b\u00f6yle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcz. Yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir hamster\u0131n \u00e7emberinde d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi bizde hakl\u0131 olma \u00e7emberinde d\u00f6neriz ve zeytinya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n suya kar\u015f\u0131 kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 zafer gibi bizde kendi aram\u0131zdaki suyun \u00fczerine \u00e7\u0131karak hakl\u0131 zaferimizi elde etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131z.. Bu m\u00fcthi\u015f m\u00fccedele de genellikle kaybeden ben olurum; a\u011flayan, ba\u011f\u0131ran hatta kriz ge\u00e7irmeye kadar giden ben olurum.. Nedense annem o suyun y\u00fczeyinde kalmay\u0131 \u00e7ok iyi becerir.. Bense sanki derinlerde bir halt varm\u0131\u015f gibi oralara inerim, anemide \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m ama O gelmez. Gelmemek icinde sanki bir bant kayd\u0131ym\u0131\u015f gibi o y\u00fczeysel klasik c\u00fcmlelerini s\u0131ralar.. En sonunda benim derinlere inip \u00e7\u0131kamamam\u0131n feryatlar\u0131yla kavga biter.. Annem \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcr ama g\u00fcn\u00fcne bir \u015fekilde devam eder.. Bense zorlan\u0131r\u0131m g\u00fcndeki kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m yeri bulmak icin ki devam edeyim g\u00fcn\u00fcme.. Di\u011fer aile \u00fcyelerimle de ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde kavga ederim ve sonu\u00e7ta hep kaybeden ben olurum.. Ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funu kaplayan bu kavgalar annemim tart\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131m\u0131zda [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16623,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[127,387],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Krizleri Art\u0131k Hastal\u0131k Olarak Kabul Edip... | Geri Bildirimler | ARTT Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bu cal\u0131\u015fmalarla sanki ben bir binaym\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi temellerim tamir ediliyor.. 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