Babam: (Kap\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan\u2026 O an giyiniyordum, gezmekten gelmi\u015ftim\u2026) \u201cSen bu aralar iyice az\u0131tt\u0131n\u2026 Amerika\u2019dan geldin geleli \u015f\u0131mard\u0131n\u2026 Elimde b\u0131\u00e7ak var! Bir daha b\u00f6yle gez, hi\u00e7 teredd\u00fct etmem seni b\u0131\u00e7aklar\u0131m, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcr\u00fcm\u2026 Sen benim \u00e7ocu\u011fumsun ve benim kurallar\u0131ma uymak zorundas\u0131n!!!\u201d
\nBu ilk de\u011fildi, benimle \u00f6l\u00fcm olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir araya geli\u015fi\u2026 \u0130lk olarak do\u011fdu\u011fum an tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 kendini bana.. Boynuma dolanan kordon nefesimi durdururken annemin bana ya\u015fama \u015fans\u0131n\u0131 vermesi i\u00e7in yalvaran g\u00f6zlerim o an \u00f6lebilme ihtimalimi de g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u2026 <\/p>\n
\u0130kinci kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmam\u0131zda alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131mdayd\u0131m\u2026 G\u00f6zlerim rengarenk balonlara tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.. Ve \u00e7ok istemi\u015ftim o balonlardan birinin benim olmas\u0131n\u0131\u2026 \u201cBaba bana balon alsana..\u201d Babam, \u201cBa\u015flatma balonundan. Kes sesini!\u201d diyerek koskocaman ellerini bana \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermek amac\u0131yla bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131n etraf\u0131na dolam\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u2026 Bu sefer de yalvaran g\u00f6zlerim babam\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinde tak\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u2026.
\n\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc bulu\u015fmam\u0131z en \u00fcstte yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131md\u0131 ve sonuncu de\u011fildi\u2026 Sonuncu da yirmi dokuz ya\u015f\u0131mdayd\u0131m.. \u201cBaba ben Fransa\u2019ya gidiyorum.. Sen ne dersen de, param da var.. Bana kar\u0131\u015famazs\u0131n\u2026\u201d Kolumdan tutarak beni odas\u0131n\u0131n tuvaletine s\u00fcr\u00fcklemi\u015fti.. Orda kocaman elleri yine bo\u011faz\u0131mdayd\u0131, \u00f6l\u00fcm tehdidiyle beraber\u2026<\/p>\n
Babamla b\u00fcy\u00fck tart\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131m\u0131zda genellikle \u015fiddet bazen de \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn tehditkarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bana e\u015flik ederdi\u2026 \u015eu an d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm de ben hi\u00e7 babamla yaln\u0131z kalmam\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u2026 S\u00fcrekli negatif duygular ve olaylar bana e\u015flik etmi\u015f\u2026 Herhalde bu kadar y\u00fckl\u00fc negatiflikten dolay\u0131 babamla fiziksel olarak da yaln\u0131z kalam\u0131yorum\u2026 <\/p>\n
T\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131p i\u00e7imde tutmam sebebiyle G\u00fcne\u015f Tan\u2019la hem do\u011fumumu hem de babam\u0131n beni b\u0131\u00e7akla tehdit etmesini \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k\u2026 Ve o \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmada hangi olaylar\u0131n ya da duygular\u0131n bana ne arma\u011fanla geldiklerini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce bir kez daha evrenin i\u015fleyi\u015fine hayran kald\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00c7al\u0131\u015fmadan sonra birden gezmelerimde art\u0131\u015f oldu\u2026 Dans kursuna gitti\u011fim i\u00e7in her ak\u015fam \u00e7\u0131kmam gerekti\u2026 Ayr\u0131 yeten partilere, seminerlere birden fazlas\u0131yla davet edilmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m\u2026 Ve ben, b\u00fcy\u00fck cesaretle \u00e7o\u011funa gittim, korkunun benle beraber olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen\u2026 Bir ak\u015fam ben dans kursundayken babam evde k\u0131yameti koparm\u0131\u015f; \u201cNerde o? Ne bu gezmeler? K\u0131raca\u011f\u0131m O\u2019nun bacaklar\u0131n\u0131!\u201d diyerek\u2026 Bunlar\u0131 duyduktan sonra korkum epey bir artt\u0131; yine o b\u0131\u00e7akla ya da elle kar\u0131\u015f\u0131laca\u011f\u0131m diye\u2026 Fakat kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmad\u0131m\u2026 Babam daimi olarak sessiz kalmay\u0131 tercih etti, benim y\u00fcz\u00fcme kar\u015f\u0131\u2026 <\/p>\n
G\u00fcne\u015f Han\u0131mla \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmam\u0131z hem \u00f6nceyi de\u011fi\u015ftirdi hem de sonray\u0131, ya\u015fam\u0131mda\u2026 Mesela art\u0131k ge\u00e7mi\u015fe d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde babam\u0131n eli bo\u015f ve sevgiyle beni kucaklamay\u0131 bekliyor\u2026 Ki \u015fimdi de \u00f6yle\u2026 \u0130lerde ise o sevgi dolu eller beni kucaklayacak. O s\u00fcrekli ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ve \u201cNeden b\u00f6yle? Niye hi\u00e7 bir \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmiyor?\u201d dedi\u011fimiz olaylar\u0131, anlar\u0131 bar\u0131nd\u0131ran dairelerimiz, k\u0131s\u0131rd\u00f6ng\u00fclerimiz biz azimle \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a ac\u0131l\u0131yorlar\u2026 \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o dairelerin de bir kap\u0131s\u0131 var\u2026 O kap\u0131lar a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131k\u00e7a, i\u00e7imiz bo\u015fald\u0131k\u00e7a asl\u0131nda negatifmi\u015f rol\u00fc yapan pozitifliklerimizle kucakla\u015f\u0131yoruz\u2026 Ve oyun daha da bir zevkli ve sevin\u00e7li hale geliyor.<\/p>\n
Sevgiler Simal<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Babam: (Kap\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan\u2026 O an giyiniyordum, gezmekten gelmi\u015ftim\u2026) \u201cSen bu aralar iyice az\u0131tt\u0131n\u2026 Amerika\u2019dan geldin geleli \u015f\u0131mard\u0131n\u2026 Elimde b\u0131\u00e7ak var! Bir daha b\u00f6yle gez, hi\u00e7 teredd\u00fct etmem seni b\u0131\u00e7aklar\u0131m, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcr\u00fcm\u2026 Sen benim \u00e7ocu\u011fumsun ve benim kurallar\u0131ma uymak zorundas\u0131n!!!\u201d Bu ilk de\u011fildi, benimle \u00f6l\u00fcm olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir araya geli\u015fi\u2026 \u0130lk olarak do\u011fdu\u011fum an tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 kendini bana.. Boynuma dolanan kordon nefesimi durdururken annemin bana ya\u015fama \u015fans\u0131n\u0131 vermesi i\u00e7in yalvaran g\u00f6zlerim o an \u00f6lebilme ihtimalimi de g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u2026 \u0130kinci kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmam\u0131zda alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131mdayd\u0131m\u2026 G\u00f6zlerim rengarenk balonlara tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.. Ve \u00e7ok istemi\u015ftim o balonlardan birinin benim olmas\u0131n\u0131\u2026 \u201cBaba bana balon alsana..\u201d Babam, \u201cBa\u015flatma balonundan. Kes sesini!\u201d diyerek koskocaman ellerini bana \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermek amac\u0131yla bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131n etraf\u0131na dolam\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u2026 Bu sefer de yalvaran g\u00f6zlerim babam\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinde tak\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u2026. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc bulu\u015fmam\u0131z en \u00fcstte yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131md\u0131 ve sonuncu de\u011fildi\u2026 Sonuncu da yirmi dokuz ya\u015f\u0131mdayd\u0131m.. \u201cBaba ben Fransa\u2019ya gidiyorum.. Sen ne dersen de, param da var.. Bana kar\u0131\u015famazs\u0131n\u2026\u201d Kolumdan tutarak beni odas\u0131n\u0131n tuvaletine s\u00fcr\u00fcklemi\u015fti.. Orda kocaman elleri yine bo\u011faz\u0131mdayd\u0131, \u00f6l\u00fcm tehdidiyle beraber\u2026 Babamla b\u00fcy\u00fck tart\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131m\u0131zda genellikle \u015fiddet bazen de \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn tehditkarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bana e\u015flik ederdi\u2026 \u015eu an d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm de ben hi\u00e7 babamla yaln\u0131z kalmam\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u2026 S\u00fcrekli negatif duygular ve olaylar bana e\u015flik etmi\u015f\u2026 Herhalde bu kadar y\u00fckl\u00fc negatiflikten dolay\u0131 babamla fiziksel olarak da yaln\u0131z kalam\u0131yorum\u2026 T\u00fcm […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16501,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[173,171],"yoast_head":"\n